The perks of wine and dreams
by Elusivness
Summary: Ramona Hawke doesn't know what to do. With her beloved sister to the circle, the Arishok and the Vicount at each other's throats, her mother's wish to have her married and her own feelings for a certain Elf. When she finally explodes and retreats home to end up drinking some wine, some things change, but for better, or worse?
1. Chapter 1

"Hawke, I-" Aveline began.  
You chuckled.  
"You don't have to explain to me why you're doing this Aveline" You said.  
Aveline sighed deeply.  
"I have the feeling that I should. Oh, this is ridiculous isn't it? The Captain of the Guard going, literally, out of her ways to let Donnic know that, That I-"  
"We're getting the picture Captain" Varric chuckled.  
Aveline turned a bright red as she had completely forgotten that there were two males accompanying them.  
You yourself just had to smirk as well. You'd known Aveline for quite a long time, but this was a side you've never seen of her.  
"But still, Hawke, can you at least understand why I'm doing this? I need to know or else I feel even more stupid" Aveline said miserably.  
You'd almost stopped dead in your tracks as you felt your cheeks warming up.  
Yes you understood. You completely understood. That's why you're going on this trip with her on the first place, she was going to do something you wouldn't even dare trying.  
You shot a quick, nonchalant, look at Fenris, who was checking the surroundings.  
You felt your body temper rise again the moment he looked back again, his gaze straightly aimed at you.  
"Y-yes, I, I think I can understand", You quickly murmured to Aveline as you quickened your pace.  
"Hold right there!" A voice suddenly screamed at you.  
You all looked up to a man with quite a few mercenaries around him.  
"You're in possession of stolen property!" He yelled at you.  
"I demand you to return the slave to us!"  
_Slave?  
_You turned at Fenris again. You'd almost forgotten over the years that he'd actually been a slave.  
"Tevinters!" Fenris growled beyond mere anger.  
"Release the slave to us and no one will get harmed!" The Tevinter warned.  
"Fenris is a **_free_** man!" You yelled at them.  
"Attack!" The man in the mage costume yelled.  
You all responded to Fenris's sudden scream. It had become a sign for you and them.  
Mostly for you though, they just all reacted on your actions after the scream.  
You sliced your blades together and disappeared in a fog, only to backstab the man who had appeared in front of you.  
The battle was quickly finished after Varric let loose a rain of arrows.  
"Who is your master?!" Fenris stood on the other side of their battle field. Smashing a man's head in the sand.  
"P-please, don't hurt me" The man whined.  
You rolled your eyes.  
"Then speak before he actually _starts_ hurting you" You growled.  
"Who is your Master?! Did Denarius send you? Where is he!?" Fenris growled again.  
"H-Hadriana send us, sh-she said we had to-"  
"Hadriana?!" Fenris rage seemed to anger by the seconds.  
"Where is she?!" He slammed the man's head into the sand even harder.  
"I-in the Hiding Caves, I-I could show you if you want?" The man pleaded.  
"No, I know which one you speak of" Fenris said before breaking the man's neck.  
"Hawke, we have to go there, Hadriana may still be there and I cannot let this chance slip away!" He turned to me.  
"Then we go, quickly" I said as we run towards the Hiding Caves, Fenris leading the way.  
As we came there, we were attacked by several skeletons, demons and eventually a women.  
"Hadriana" Fenris growled as a greeting.  
"Slave" She prompted. Then, she summoned some other demons to keep us busy.  
Eventually, she lay on the ground, reaching for her wand, but Fenris kicked it away.  
"Please! You do not want to kill me!" She pleaded.  
"Give me one good reason not to" Fenris replied angry.  
"I, I have information! I will give it to you in trade for my life!"  
"What do I need with information?" Fenris growled.  
"How do we know that you're telling us the truth anyway?" I spoke.  
The women seemed confused by my appearance.  
"Well, well Fenris, I see you've began to settle with a capable female?" She looked at me with narrowed eyes.  
Fenris seemed taken aback for a moment and then shook her roughly.  
"Do we have a deal?!" She pleaded desperately.  
"Yes" Fenris moved his head closer to hers.  
"You, You have a sister, She- She works as a servant at Redcliff castle!"  
"A servant, not a slave" Fenris said confused.  
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes a Servant! Will, Will you let me go now? You promised"  
"Yes, I promised" He said while he leaned even closer to her.  
A small hint of jealousy began to form in my stomach. I knew I was being stupid though, there was no way Fenris actually liked this women after he almost shook her head of… Right?  
You looked at Aveline and Varric, which both looked curiously.  
Suddenly, a sharp gasp brought your attention back.  
You looked just in time to see Fenris rip out the women's hart.  
He moved towards you with a pace, which made your hart race.  
"Fenris?"  
"She's lying! She must be! Talking about this so-called _sister_ of mine!" He growled.  
"Fenris, maybe we should go" You hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder, only to pull it right back after he turned away from you.  
"Don't cuddle me! What has magic touched that hasn't spoiled?! Even you! You share the same blood of that _filthy_ sister of yours!"  
You looked away, shocked, hurt and quite embarrassed.  
You felt his gaze linger on you, but you simply didn't want to look into those forest green orbs of his.  
"I, I should go" He said before almost running away out of the Caves.  
"Maybe we should go home for now, I'll meet up with Donnic another time" Aveline suggested.  
The three of you said nothing as you went back to your homes.  
You first went to The Hanged Man. Varric gave you a suspicious look.  
"You're in for a drink, Hawke? I'll buy you one" He said.  
"No thank you, Varric. But I'll remember it for the next time" You replied with a smirk.  
He laughed. "Take care Hawke" He said before entering.  
Aveline walked you home.  
"Hawke, Fenris shouldn't have said that, though I'm sure he didn't meant anything by it. I suppose he was just upset" Aveline said to cheer you up.  
You put on a smile and turned to her.  
"I know Aveline, thank you for trying to cheer me up though"  
"Alright Hawke, just, don't let this get to your head too much" She said as she walked away.  
You opened your door and went in. You were exhausted.  
"Dear? Is that you?" Mother came into the Hall.  
"Oh dear you look exhausted! Has something bad happened to you?"  
"No mother" You said as you tried to smile. "I'm just mentally exhausted".  
Your mother arched an eyebrow and then helped you up the stairs.  
In your room, she made you sit down and helped to put your armor off.  
"Oh darling, I keep forgetting how long your hair is! It must be because you keep hiding it  
underneath those armors of yours". She made you wear a simple dress and combed your hair.  
"Of course mother, long hair is not handy when you're fighting" You yawned.  
You close your eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being taken care off.  
"I miss this." Mother said. "You grow up so fast, and I see you less".  
You smiled. "You also used to do this with Bethany more often mother, not with me".  
"Well, actually I did, before you started fighting with your brother and the other kids" Mother laughed.  
"Oh darling, look in the mirror won't you, you look beautiful. How come you still haven't found a man?"  
Your hart ached painfully at the memory of Fenris and what he'd said to you, but at the same time, it brought butterflies to your stomach.  
You stood up and looked into the mirror.  
You saw she braided your thick dark hair and let two locks in front of your eyes, further, you were wearing a long dark red dress.  
"Mother?" You asked cautiously.  
"Yes darling?"  
"Why am I wearing this?"  
"Oh darling, I'm going to visit an old friend of mine and I was actually hoping you would accompany me.."  
"Let me guess, he doesn't happen to have a son?" You sighed.  
Your mother laughed a sly laugh.  
"You're so smart, Ramona, I could never hide anything from you"  
"Well, I'm glad that you at least agree" You smirked.  
"You sure you don't want to come with? Oranna, Bodahn and his son are free today and tomorrow as well, and my friend lives far away so I'll be sleeping there. If you won't come you'll be here alone "  
"Mother, please. I'm sure I can handle myself by now."  
"Oh, no doubt about it" Mother laughed. "But I'm concerned though, You're not taking too much on your shoulders, are you?"  
This time, you laughed.  
"With you as my Mother? I simply wouldn't dare!"  
You walked her to the front door.  
"Take care, my dear. And do rest please, you're too tired to handle every single problem of those weird friends of yours" She smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

You gave her a hug and then she walked out of the door.  
You closed it and let yourself slide down.  
You sighed deeply as you held your hands to your head.  
_What have I done to make him so angry? _You just couldn't help but to somehow feel guilty.  
You stood up so abruptly, that you slightly lost balance.  
You opened the door, closed it tightly behind you (_After all, Isabella had warned that her locks were too easy to pick_) and began to walk towards the Chantry grounds.  
As you walked, you noticed people staring at you in awe.  
_What story Varric told them now?_ You thought annoyed, but kept your head held high.  
As you arrived at the chantry grounds, you hesitated for a moment.  
_No time to be cowardly Ramona!_ You mumbled to yourself as you run towards Fenris's mansion.  
He never locked the doors, but then again, people would be incredibly foolish to try and break in.  
You walked in silently, suddenly not that courageous anymore.  
It sounded like a good idea before; Just talk to Fenris and see what's on his mind.  
You sought grip of your knifes for courage, but as you felt, you noticed that they weren't there.  
You still wore that dress!  
Oh no! Now you definitely had to get out of here before-  
"State your purpose!" A voice you recognized easily growled from behind you.  
You felt his sword point against the back of your dress and panicked, but suddenly, you just had enough of it all.  
You turned around angrily, blocking his sword away from you with the back of your hand and glared at him.  
He glared back before the pieces fell together.  
"Hawke?" He asked unbelievably.  
"I know, I look hideous!" You growled.  
It became awkwardly silent.  
He didn't think you looked hideous. Not at all. You looked beautiful, you always did but he had never seen you like this before, and your hair was longer than he thought it was. He'd thought you were an imposter because of it, because he knew your pale skin color, the color of your dark brown eyes and he recognized your figure. He looked at it very often when he followed behind you. But your hair made him wonder. Your long thick black hair…  
It almost reached to your bottom.  
"I-"  
"For the state-your-purpose part, I'd like to talk to you" You suddenly growled.  
"I- sure" Fenris said as they began to walk up to his chamber. He never used any other room in the house.  
When they were in the room, Fenris offered you a chair, but you kept looking at him with a steel gaze.  
It was when he sat down, you sat down as well.  
Lady-like of course, you were wearing a bloody dress after all.  
"I'm sorry" Fenris said before you could say something.  
"I took out my anger on you, undeservedly so, and I regret it."  
"Do you now?" You asked cynically. "I'm very sure my very presence in your house must be utterly disturbing to you! I possess after all, the same blood of that _filthy_ sister of mine?!" You growled angrily as you stood up. Not quite able to control your anger the way you planned.  
You're plan was to listen to him, like a good friend, well maybe more than a good friend, and then tell him you're feelings. But now, your own anger turned against you as leashed out on him like a beast.  
"Hawke, I-"  
"RAMONA!" You yelled.  
"What?" He asked shocked.  
"That's my name! Ramona! It has been for years and I'd like you to call me that!"  
What was happening to you? You were acting like some sort of jealous lovesick girl!  
His body language changed. Small changes, but you noticed it anyway. For a Rogue, a handy thing to learn.  
"Ramona," He carefully pronounced.  
"Everybody else calls you Hawke, why do you have a problem with me saying it as well?" He meant to say it seriously, but a smirk began to form in the corner of his mouth.  
_He was on to her! He knew!_  
You felt a blush creep up your cheeks as you turned away from him, pretending to stare outside the window.  
"You're a beautiful women, Hawke, is there no one else that has your interest?" He said quietly, which shows he chose his words carefully.  
You sighed at the word "Hawke", but felt butterflies turning your stomach over at the word "beautiful". You then turned around while leaning against the window.  
"Not at the moment Fenris" You sighed.  
You'd rather not fall in love with anyone, because you were simply not good at it. All the flirting and stuff. Love has always been a hard word for you to comprehend though.  
"Well, I'll be very sure to think about it then" Fenris suddenly said with a small smile.  
You felt your face heathen up as you looked at him in shock. You didn't think he would say that!  
"S-sure" You said as you quickly made your way home.  
Not that there would be anyone, but it was just too embarrassing to stay there any longer.  
As you arrived home, you put all the lights on, ate the soup Oranna had left behind for you and made your way to your room. Opening the windows, changing into your nightgown and then brushed your hair. Feeling very excited for some reason.

Fenris looked out of his window as he drank one of the bottles of wine Denarius had left behind.  
_"My very presence in your house must be utterly disturbing to you! I possess after all, the same blood of that __**filthy**__ sister of mine?!"_ He kept hearing her voice in his thoughts.  
Wherever his thoughts went, they would always end with her.  
He was stupid to say that to her. He knew she loved her sister, but that she also struggled because she'd wanted to side with the Templars. But simply couldn't because of Bethany.  
He remembered an argument they had in The Hanged Man, after Hawke had sided with the Mages again. Letting those mages in the caves flee, while she lied to the Templars:  
"Hawke! You upset me! Why do you still defend those useless mages?! Your sister's already within the Circle now, so she can't say anything that might manipulate your thoughts!" He had said to her. They had both already been very drunk, but back then, she unintentionally showed him a fragile side of her, he kept remembering.  
"Oh Fenris! I know! I'm stupid!" She'd laughed. He adored her laugh.  
"I know she's in the Circle, but I keep hearing her opinion of things! With everything that has to do something with mages, I keep thinking what she might think of it. She would've been proud of me for saving those mages, you know that? No of course you don't!" She blurred while she leaned over the table, closer to him. "Fenris, have you ever known true love?" She'd asked him.  
"Go Hawke!" Isabella had shouted from the other side of the tavern as Hawke now crawled over the table like a cat. Closer to him. He even got a rich peak of her décolleté.  
"No, I don't think you have. I have neither, but I'm willing to let you know how it feels like!" She purred at his face.  
Now, he knew he'd probably kissed her furiously back then, hadn't Aveline shown up.  
She acts like a big sister towards her, and as soon she saw Hawke in the dress Isabella had made her wear, crawling over the table like a professional "entertainer", she practically demanded me to help her bring Hawke home. The moment Hawke was in my arms, because she couldn't walk anymore herself, she giggled and cuddled against me. Then, when she noticed that we were leaving the Tavern, she resisted. Pushing me, clawing at my face and even stroking my scars in a very harsh manner.  
But Hawke wouldn't be Hawke hadn't she escaped just once. She made Aveline and me chase her through all of Hightown until we found her, sleeping, at my doorstep.  
Aveline had chuckled. "Isn't she just stubborn" She'd said.  
I, however, got a feeling of proudness. I felt honored that she chose my doorstep to sleep on, because honestly, she'd been so drunk she should've taken enough with the first doorstep she saw.  
But she choose mine and had fallen deeply asleep on it, probably almost right away.  
"I do hope not all humans are like this?" He'd joked.  
"No, probably just Hawke" She joked back.  
Hawke…  
_"RAMONA!" "That's my name! Ramona! It has been for years and I'd like you to call me that!"_  
Ramona, not "Hawke" but Ramona; Fenris thought about it.  
It actually suited her. It sounded stubborn in a leader kind of way, but with an unmistakable refined beauty in it.  
_"You're a beautiful women, Hawke, is there no one else that has your interest?"  
"Not at the moment Fenris…"  
_He felt a heath consuming him from the inside.  
He had to see her, now.  
He actually jumped out of window and then run towards her house.


	3. Chapter 3

Ramona was still stroking her hair with the brush, absentmindedly.  
Her thoughts kept going back to Fenris and his enchanting laugh. He didn't laugh often, but when he did, a rich laughter filled her ears and she was immediately happy again. Just by hearing his laugh.  
Your smile faded, however, when you thought back of how "Love" had served you in the past. You still remembered that you had a big crush on one of Carvers older friends. One day, you'd confessed your feelings to him. He just smirked at walked away, but the days after, he would follow you. Everywhere. He also liked to touch her. Not in a sexual kind of way, but he just had an urgent need of touching you. Your arms, your back, your hair, your leg when he sat next to you. It had simply drove you nuts! All the touching!  
In the end, you'd even lied to your parents that you heard the Templars were coming to check for mages in this area. Your parents had believed you immediately and moved out right away. Only bringing what could be brought with easily.  
The guy had come to wave you out and, because he had some friends standing around him, he had demanded a farewell kiss from you. He had closed his eyes, and you just walked away, without looking back again.  
**_Love_**_ why do people cherish you? You can break thing with the easiest change of events. Pull people's heart out, when they do not deserve it. And sometimes, you just leave. Which causes heartbreak by the remaining people,_ I thought cynically before I started snickering.  
God you sounded like an old Hag.  
You heard a small thud coming from your library.  
_What was that?  
_You listened closely once more, but couldn't hear anything.  
You stood up slowly, careful to make no unnecessary loud noises and walked to your storage.

Thanking god you changed into your nightgown already and wasn't still wearing that hideous dress. Everything was better than that dress, and once the intruder saw her nightgown, well, at least he wouldn't live to tell the tale.  
You silently opened your storage and grabbed two daggers, holding them firmly in place as you looked through your room's keyhole.

Nothing.

You opened the door and took in your home.  
Nothing seemed out of place, but something was feeling odd.  
"Argh" you muttered. "I should've listened to Isabella"  
You carefully made your way from the stairs with your back against the wall.  
As you approached the door to the library, you looked through its keyhole first.  
Only to realize someone was blocking your view.  
You took a step back, breathed slowly and then, with full force, kicked the door open.  
The person standing before it flew to the ground on his stomach.  
You immediately placed yourself on top of the thief, pulled his hair up and placed one dagger against his throat.  
"I do not know what you are trying to accomplish here, Thief. But roaming around a Hawke's house wasn't a very bright idea to begin with" You spit out as you pulled his hair once more.  
His almost snow white hair….  
_Wha-  
_The man underneath you suddenly moved so that he was now straddling your hips and looking you right in the eyes as he held a sword against your chest.  
"I could say the same to you Hawke, for you keep intruding my house as well" Fenris smirked.  
"Fenris!" Your eyes beamed. "Why don't you bother to just nock on the door for once!?"  
"Nah, I must say I find this way far more attractive" Fenris said. Looking at you intensely.  
You became aware of the position you were in as well as what you were currently wearing and coughed awkwardly as you felt your cheeks heathen up.  
"C- Could I offer you a drink?" You stuttered.  
"Sure, wouldn't decline that offer"  
He helped you stand up as you walked to the kitchen yourself.  
Fenris looked across the room. You had an enormous amount of books in your possession.  
He remembered your conversation with Aveline when you were in a mission right after Bethany was taken to the Circle. Aveline pressed the matter and Hawke turned angry on her, Aveline eventually got what she wanted anyway;  
Hawke cried.  
In front of him, Varric and Aveline while Aveline patted her head.  
_"Aveline stop cuddling me! I have no need to be cuddled!" She had said to her angrily as she quickly looked the other way. But Fenris already saw the small tear leaving her eye.  
"Hawke, you and your mother are both very tense. I sensed it when I visited you, but you both refuse to talk about it. You haven't cried either-"  
"Why should I cry?!" Hawke had shouted. "Crying is a sign of weakness which I shouldn't be showing-"  
"Hawke! You've been a role-model! For Bethany as well for Carver and-"  
"Carver?! He hated my guts Aveline! He would always be angry on me when we came back from our hunt. Even if we get our food!"  
"Ramona…" Aveline said firmly.  
Hawke closed her mouth immediately as she faced us again with teared eyes and closed them. Listening this time.  
"Carver was a proud man. He couldn't stand walking in the shadow of his older sister, but that's it. He did love you, and when we met, I saw you inspired him. He secretly adored you Hawke, watching your every movement as he tried to copy most of them"  
More tears seem to come out of her eyes, but she didn't open them just yet. She also didn't say anything. She just bit her bottom lip.  
She kept strong._

Though this was very courage able for her to do, as well as Aveline, but Fenris was highly uncomfortable at this sight.  
It didn't feel right that you had been crying.  
_He looked at you astonished as you spoke again.  
"Bethany was always such a sweet girl" You had said with a raw voice. "Were Carver would pester me, Beth would stand beside me. She also loved it when I read her a story, or made her up one.  
Bethany… I didn't wanted her to go to the circle! I- I just wanted… I don't know" She sighed.  
Then she faced us all, with open eyes.  
We all sympathized with her, for, for the first time we met her;  
Our Lady Hawke looked fragile.  
Our always so strong and confident leader, looked broken.  
_  
_"Should I have taken her with me instead?" She suddenly questioned aloud. "No! I couldn't have! Mother and I both agreed that would be too dangerous for her…. And, isn't the circle a better place for her to be?" The question mark at the end did not seem unnoticed.  
"I am sure that what you did for your sister was an act out of love Hawke" Varric had said.  
"She can't possibly hate you for it. She shouldn't. And I am sure she's learning a great deal about magic now.. That was also what she wanted. You know that, right?" Aveline said.  
"Yes, Yes I know. But… I miss her. I miss my sister who loved reading books with me, My sister who tricked Carver for me and," You chuckled. "My sister who unwillingly made a boy fall in love with me".  
_  
_They had all been relieved that you'd stopped crying.  
Prove of that showed when you stood up and said: "Aveline, Varric, Fenris, no one will hear about this. Have I made myself clear? Varric?" She looked questionably at the storyteller.  
"Yeah, yeah, sure thing. Just now that this would've made you more appealing to men!" He shouted after her as she walked away.  
"Oh whatever do you mean?" She looked around while swaying her hips in a seducing way. "Are you implying that I am not pretty, my fine dwarf?"  
Of course, he had been joking back then. Hawke was a beautiful women. Almost all men in Kirkwall, and probably in the entire Free Marches as well, would've agreed to that. And still even he had gulped at the sight of her seductively swaying hips.  
_  
He knew she loved to read.  
_If only he possessed over such an ability._  
"Fenris?" He was snapped out of his thoughts as Hawke came in with a serving plate she put on the table in front of the table.  
On the plate stood two fancy glasses and one bottle of very expensive sweet, rich red wine.

"Have you've giving your servants a day off?"  
"Yes" She smiled. "My mother's visiting a friend as well so I am forced to do the work on my own"  
"Oh, I'm sure you're more than capable" He smirked.  
She returned the smirk as she sat down, he sitting down as well.  
She poured some of the wine in the glasses and they toasted.  
"On our bond" She said.  
"May it never cease" He finished silently.


	4. Chapter 4

He saw a pink color rose her cheeks and knew she heard him anyway.  
She quickly drank the wine in one motion and sighed at the delicious taste.  
"Marvelous, wouldn't you agree?" She asked him after two wines.  
"Marvelous indeed"  
"Say Fenris" She asked. Sipping at her third wine. "Tell me something personal… A thing I have yet to discover"

This took Fenris a bit of guard.  
"I…" He stared at the books.  
She followed his gaze as she knew he found this hard.  
"For example" She started. "What's your favorite book?"  
Fenris snapped back. _How did she caught on to that so fast_?.

"I, I cannot read" He said carefully.  
She nearly spilled her wine.  
"What?!"  
He never wanted her to find out. It was humiliating, really.

"Fenris? Why not?" She asked concerned.  
"Danarius wouldn't let Slaves get the feeling they're worth something" He gulped with hatred. "So-"  
"So he never learned you to read…" Hawke finished astonished at the cruelty of some people.  
"That is meaningless!" She snapped as she let it sink in.

He was eyeing the books once again.  
"Fenris, would you like to read books?" She asked with a determined gaze.  
"What?" Fenris said confused. _Of course he wanted! Why would she ask this?  
_"Fenris, would you?"  
"I… yes I would" He said confused.  
"Then, would you like me to teach you how to read them?"  
He looked at her with wide eyes.  
"You, you'd be willing to teach me, a former slave-"  
"No. I would be willing to teach **you**, **Fenris**, how to read" She said firmly.  
"I," Fenris was at loss of words. "I thank you. You honestly deserve more than that but I'm afraid I cannot offer you more-"  
"Oh, hush you" She smiled. "Fenris I don't need anything as repayment from you" She said as she finished her fifth wine. "Though, if you're persistent" A sly smile spread across her alluring lips. "I might be able to figure something out"  
He almost spilled his wine and eyed her carefully.  
Her cheeks were a soft pink, her cherry lips slightly parted in a smile and her eyes were closed.  
She looked beautifully fragile. It was a rare opportunity to see her like this, but he had to disturb the moment before he did something irrational.  
"Hawke?" He actually thought she had fallen asleep for she stayed so still.  
"Ramona Fenris, it's Ramona" She softly whispered as she slowly opened her eyes again.  
"I, are you sure about me?" He asked hesitantly.  
"What do you mean?" She took another sip of her wine.  
He was absolutely amazed how she could hold her liquor.  
"Shouldn't you… Do you not find Sebastian a better option?"  
He saw her confused frown.  
"I, I mean… Maybe Anders would suit you better or…" He was at a complete loss of words.  
But he was confused.  
He didn't know why she said she was interested in him. She shouldn't be.

At the Hanged man, Anders had often complaint that you were looking at Fenris too often and that you should focus on someone more mature, someone more able to control his temper.  
Of course he had meant himself back then, but Fenris actually had to agree d with him.  
He had not said it of course, but he secretly thought of himself as bad company as well.  
Besides, his fascination with you would prove itself more unhealthy as the time passed.

You would hunt his dreams, even at the daylight, his thoughts of you would often get the best of him and he wouldn't able to focus probably.

"Why exactly should I find Sebastian better or find Anders more suitable, compared to you I take it?" She had straightened up a bit and looked at him with an amused expression.  
"I, they are more.."  
"If you are going to say manlier, I must stop you right there" She said with a smirk.  
He blushed and tried to cough it away.  
"No, I was going to say more gentleman…."  
She looked at him with great interest, took another sip and placed one hand under her face for support.  
"More gentleman than you…" She gave it a thought. "And you think this should upset me because…?"  
"I think you deserve better Haw-"  
He saw her annoyed gaze.  
"Ramona.."  
"Then how do you know what I desire?" She asked with her gaze straightly aimed at him.  
"What you desire?" Fenris gulped again. He felt his throat become more drier at the minutes passed and it also felt like the room began to heathen up more as he took another big sip of his wine.  
"Yes what I desire" She said as she slowly stood up and walked to him.  
"You haven't given it much thought have you?" She said as she stopped before him and sat on her knees in front of him.  
"What are your desires Fenris?" She asked silently as she absentmindedly stroke the chair he sat on.  
"My desires?"  
"Yes, what do you desire?"  
_You…  
_"Revenge"  
She looked up at him, bemused.  
"Besides Danarius head on a stick" She teased. "Let's asks the question differently then." She leaned over to him more and he saw the blush on her cheeks more clearly.  
"Fenris, who do you desire?"  
It was too tempting to say 'You', but he didn't know if he should.  
What if she'd laugh at him? Saying it was all a joke?  
This whole situation was utterly disturbing to him. That she had positioned herself almost right near his crotch did not make the whole situation even a tad better.  
"Fenris?" She drew his attention back.  
"What do you think of me?"  
Fenris's eyes widened.  
"Why do you ask me these questions?" He said, a bit annoyed.  
She stood up quickly, as if stung by a bee.  
"I, I just-"  
"If you need something of me just say so!" He stood up, pulled her head closer to his and pressed his lips firmly onto hers.  
She was shocked for a brief second, the next, she placed one hand on his head and pulled him closer as he slammed you against a wall with his body.  
You gasped and he took that opportunity to insert his tongue in your mouth, were the two of you battled for dominance.  
You loved this. The sensations he brang up with you were most delicious, there were no other words to describe this. He was already fulfilling your ever fantasy with just putting his hands on your body.  
Being the prude you were, you had not dared dreaming or imagining anything else.  
You moaned as he massaged your large breasts, and he very much liked the sound of it.  
You still didn't know whether this was just a dream, or that the alcohol was playing with your mind.  
He suddenly pinched a nipple and you gasped as you were brought back into nothing but reality.  
Annoyed by his certain hold over you, you deepened the kiss and pushed him slightly backwards. Enough to make him step back but not enough to make him trip.  
He suddenly felt something against his leg and as he was pushed down, he sat on the sofa. She smirked down upon him.  
Eyes darkened, her long black hair framing her beautiful face and her luscious lips in a determined smirk. An image that would've let any man fallen down on his knees.  
Without saying a thing, she began to stroke his already hard member.  
He caught his breath a couple of times and saw the smirk on her face as he opened his eyes.  
The moment she saw he was trying to change the situation, she tightened her grip on his member and the deep growl she had been waiting for was finally released.  
She had closed her eyes out of pleasure from his voice and he took that opportunity to sit straight and releasing her breasts out of that tempting nightgown of hers.  
She gasped and arched her back when he pinched a nipple with his gloved hand and then made circles with it on her body. When he saw how much she enjoyed that, he couldn't help but smirk.  
"You like roughness Ramona?" He growled next to her ear.  
All she could do was moan in response as he put on nipple in his mouth and did some enchanting movements with his tongue.  
He heard her catch her breath multiple times and as her hold on his hair grew even tighter, he stopped.  
She looked at him with lust filled eyes and a bewildered expression on her face.  
He couldn't go further, he wanted to, but couldn't. What if this ruined everything?  
A small growl left her luscious lips and his attention shot back at her as she took hold of his incredible hard member.  
She stroke it with maddening tenderness.  
"Fenris, we can't stop now" She breathed against his neck and eventually planted wonderful kisses all over it. When he shot his head back and groaned, she found his soft spot on his neck and stroke his member even harder and quicker.  
His breath quickened with every breath he took and she didn't stop nor slowed down!  
It was maddening.  
He moaned and groaned as she planted her kisses all over him and sucked on his soft spot.  
He heard her breath quicken as well and immediately knew she got excited because of him, which turned him on even more.  
He didn't know how he did it, but he eventually got a hold of her hands.  
"S-Stop" He breathed against her. He was on the verge and they were both very well aware of that.  
When she shook 'no' and tried to release herself, he held her hands above his head so that she was straddling him, but her breast were hanging above his mouth and he took very well opportunity of that.  
"Now I will let you know what it feels like" He growled as he plunged one nipple into his mouth and sucked, licked and even bit on it.  
She was moaning and arching her back even more for him to get more excess, but the growing ache inside her wouldn't stop. So she ended up bucking her hips into his.  
Fenris's scream ripped through her like a delicious lash on her virginity and she moaned as he came through his pants.  
Fenris caught his breath several times and looked at the women above him.  
She had her eyes closed and was still moving her hips against his in such a tempting way, the whores of the blooming rose had something to learn.  
"Are you really still pure?" He asked.  
She opened her eyes and what he saw there was wonderful and intoxicating.  
Lust mixed with passion and desperate want with insecurity and something else..  
"What?" Her voice was raw from all the moaning and she blinked her eyes twice.  
"Are you really still a virgin?"  
"Yes" She answered with a sigh and a shy blush. Then she looked at him with a gaze he knew very well.  
Determination.  
Hawke was very stubborn so if she was determined to do something, she would do everything she possibly could to get it.  
"I want you to take it from me Fenris"  
It wasn't a question, and he couldn't do anything else than obey.


End file.
